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It changes all the time but right now my top ten most favourite songs I play on the old iPod are (in no particular order though):
- Luckenbach, Texas - Christian Kane
- Don't - The Razorbax
- Tell Me When It's Time To Say I Love You - Billie Joe Armstrong
- Spot On The Corner - Steve Carlson
- Honest Goodbye - Bad Religion
- 21st Century - Bad Religion
- Coming To Save You - The Sunshine Underground
- Unravelled Smile - The Jackdaws (although part of me wishes it wasn't!)
- Don't Stop Believing - Journey
- So Tell Me Why - Poison
This might seem like a bit of a random blog entry, given that I am very happily almost married and have no doubts whatsoever about the big day coming up in a couple of months, but I got to thinking while lying wide awake in bed this morning about just how much importance society still places on what is, essentially, a piece of paper.
I can understand how to some people getting married is hugely important and that has a lot to do with both how you were raised and the beliefs and character traits of an individual.
I honestly do have no issues whatsoever with that, it is no different to any other dream in life that I might have which is important to me. Different people have different dreams and not one of them is right or wrong.
The thing I began pondering on is just how much importance is placed on marriage by society as a whole, including the influence of the media, even now in the 21st century.
Marriage as we know it, with the certificate you get and the register you sign, is a product of the church. There would not be such a thing as a civil ceremony if religion of some kind hadn't brought it in first.
But if you think about it, marriage in the bible was essentially some guy taking numerous women as 'his' and having them bear his children! There was no ceremony or paperwork involved, from what I remember. (I will admit, it has been a long time since I picked up a bible.)
I was raised a Catholic and I essentially still hold those beliefs true deep inside. The realities of whether there is a God do not really matter to me and I rarely go to church these days but, when it comes down to it, I try and be a good person like the faith taught me. I still say prayers for people I am worried about, regardless of the reality of whether anybody is listening but the hope that they are is usually enough.
Marriage is one of the most important things to a Catholic and you are still considered to be living in sin with a partner if you move in together without having signed on that dotted line.
I was raised that the following is a normal and happy life - meet a man, get engaged after a couple of years, marry him, have children, never divorce and live happily ever after. That is what I was taught was 'normal'.
My grandmothers, both devout Roman Catholics, utterly adore His Nibs and love him like he was one of their own.
Yet for the first couple of years after I moved away to live with him, they didn't tell any of their friends or the Italian community that I had done so. They simply said I had moved away 'for work'.
One of them has since changed her views, mainly because my cousin also moved in with his girlfriend, who already had a child from a previous relationship (again, a big no no in Italian peasant society) and my aunt has lived with her boyfriend for over a decade now and they refuse to get married. So she either adjusted her views or risked upsetting her family and now has no problems telling people I live with His Nibs.
However, the other one still doesn't offer this information and has been the biggest driving force in trying to convince us to get married. It became something of a joke in our family that His Nibs might not see his 30th birthday if he hadn't proposed before then, as Nonna M would probably do him in! Fortunately, he took her badgering in good humour and let it slide. Neither of us blame her for how she has acted, those are her beliefs and we just have to accept that. It doesn't mean she loves us any less.
For me, getting married had always been something that came in the 'would be nice' box. I loved the idea of it, because that was how I had been raised, but at the same time it had never formed part of my lifelong dreams as a teenager or as I became an adult.
His Nibs had never been bothered about marriage. His parents are married, as are all his aunts and uncles, but in his family there was no real importance placed on it. In fact, a couple of his relatives have said if they could do it all again these days, they probably wouldn't have bothered!
His cousin and her boyfriend have two amazing children and have been together for 12 years now. Neither of them want to get married.
My cousin also appears to have no interest in getting married but is happy and content with his missus and her little girl, who pretty much views him as her second dad.
Could it be that there is still so much around us giving the message that 'marriage is right' and 'living in sin isn't quite so right'? One of my bosses at work has been with her boyfriend for 15 years or so and neither of them are bothered about being married but are one of the most content and stable couples I know off!
Almost every advert featuring a family on television has the parents wearing wedding rings. Sitcoms, dramas, soaps - again 99 per cent of the relationships end with walking down the aisle, even if they then end in divorce a year later.
Strangers you meet will still act surprised when they find out you have lived together for years and not tied the not, especially if you have children.
Ever since His Nibs and I reached the two-year mark, I have lost count of the number of comments we had such as "wedding bells will be in the air then" or "ooh, well he'll be proposing some time soon".
To be honest, no, I never thought any of that!
I genuinely cannot wait to become Mrs His Nibs. I was so happy when he proposed and I am so excited for the big day.
But I can also say, hand on heart, that if he had never asked me to marry him, I would have been just as happy living with him 'in sin' for the rest of my life.
Being with His Nibs has always been what was important to me. We have a house together, the mortgage and deeds in joint names. We are both insured on each others cars. I enjoy spending time with him more than I do with anyone else (just!) and I love him with all my heart.
Having him in my life is and always was the thing I wanted. That was always going to be enough for me and I never saw him not proposing all those years as a sign he wasn't committed. I never, ever needed a ring on my finger for him to prove his commitment to me.
When I was at university, a friend who had been with her boyfriend for a couple of years told me that if he hadn't proposed before they reached three years, that was it, she was finishing with him.
That was just a completely foreign concept to me and something I found quite shocking! I am not saying that she was wrong, as clearly getting married was hugely important to her, but I could never feel the same way.
People in a relationship will always want different things and have different dreams in life. A common ground can be found for most of them but others, and often marriage and children can be the biggest ones, you sometimes can't.
That is when the compromise has to come in, when you have to decide whether being with the person is more important to you than the dreams you might have. I am not saying there is a right or wrong answer, but if marriage is something so important to you that you could not be happy for the rest of your life with someone if it never happens, you have to make the choice to either give up what you want for them or walk away.
As I have already said, this is only my opinion and I am not saying I am right or that anyone who feels differently is wrong. And I will admit, when various friends got engaged or married around me, I had the odd wistful thought of 'when is it my turn' but it was always fleeting and more to do with me being caught up in the moment than anything else!
I really hope this hasn't come across as hypocritical or condescending, as that was never my intention. As I said, nobody is right or wrong in what they believe and want, this is just how I feel about things.
But isn't it about time that society stopped judging us, however slightly or unconsciously, on whether or not we have a ring on the third finger of our left hand?
For all those out there who love Green Day and the fantastically talented and sexy as Hell Mr Billie Joe Armstrong as much as I do, check out this awesome article with our favourite modern punk rock legend:
http://www.out.com/detail.asp?page=1&id=26574There are some cracking photographs of him too. I swear, the man gets better with age!
I don't think anyone will ever manage to knock him from the Number One spot on my Allowed List. He has been there for more than six years now and while I may flirt with the likes of Jensen, Jared, Bradley and Ryan, Billie Joe has maintained pole position thoughout.
Oh my God, I sound like a fourteen-year-old teenie with an obsessive crush!
Oh well, ho hum, eh? I did say I never wanted to truly grow up!
Okay, so this blog post was inspired by a conversation I had with a friend about what the first things were that we noticed in a man for that initial attraction to happen.
And of course, it goes without saying that His Nibs has all of these! (As an aside, I have recently started calling His Nibs 'Peanut' for rather random reasons. It is a nickname he is not too fond of at the moment, although I am trying to convince him, but for the time being he shall remain His Nibs!)
Here we go then. The top ten things a man must have for me to find them attractive:
- A gorgeous smile - if a guy doesn't make my knees go weak when he smiles, he's not for me!
- Good forearms - by this I mean nice and toned, like a guitarists, with that line between the wrist and elbow well defined when they bend or twist it.
- Messy hair that is long enough to play with, preferably dark.
- Lovely eyes - although I am partial to green, any colour really so long as they are big and pretty!
- A sense of humour - I know it's cliched but if a guy can't make me laugh, I just cannot find them sexy.
- Patience and 'laid back-ness' - I'm neither of these so they have to be able to cope with my fiery side, which isn't always easy.
- At least 5ft 11in in height - I'm 5ft 7in so they need to still be taller than me if I wear a pair of heels.
- Openly affectionate - I like cuddles and kisses and holding hands, whether in public or not.
- Good dress sense - by this I don't necessarily mean trendy or fashionable, just what looks good on them. I am a sucker for a pair of well fitting jeans, a funky belt and a white shirt or fitted T-shirt on a guy.
- Able to cope with having the p*ss taken out of them frequently and be able to give as good as they get from me.
So there it is, a brief description of my perfect man. Of course, there are other things which can up the attractiveness stakes for a guy, such as tattoos and musical talent, but they're optional extras in the grand scheme of things!
Although there are literally dozens, if not hundreds of bands both past and present that I would consider ridiculously overrated, one comes out head and shoulders above every other.
The Sex Pistols.
How this utterly talentless bunch of foul-mouthed, arrogant, think-the-world-owes-me-a-living morons have come to be considered one of the most influential acts in the history of popular music, let alone punk, is totally beyond me!
Think about it...
Johnny Rotten couldn't sing to save his life and the other three were all but useless at playing their various instruments. Sid Vicious didn't even play the bass parts on the album! Even Lemmy from Motorhead couldn't teach the guy to play to a decent standard.
Their songs all sounded the same - shouty, angry and catchy, but since when did catchiness equal greatness in the world of songwriting?
They released one full length album which was, I am sorry, average with one or two hints at brilliance that never quite lived up to the promises. Anyone who raves about the genius of Never Mind The Bollocks can honestly not have ever listened to it without the equivalent on their ears of rose tinted glasses on their eyes. It is a fairy decent album, listenable for a few turns, but that's all.
And, most importantly, they acted and dressed like a bunch of f*** the world rebels who hated everyone and everything that had it better than they did UNDER THE INSTRUCTIONS OF THEIR MANAGEMENT.
Yes, all that talk of social reform and f*** yous to the authorities was all carefully choreographed by their management and record label.
THE BAND WAS ACTUALLY PUT TOGETHER BY ITS MANAGER, MALCOLM MCLAREN. You cannot get more manufactured than that! In effect, the Pistols were the first punk-rock boyband!
Had there not been all the phenomenal controversy over whether Sid Vicious killed his girlfriend Nancy and then dying of his oh-so-cliched drug overdose, I truly believe the Sex Pistols would have faded into obscurity just like every other mediocre punk band from the era. His band just happened to be the one the tabloids took notice of at the time (and it was probably a quiet news day that led to that in the first place).
Do not get me wrong. I consider punk music to be one of the most incredible genres out there with a fantastic amount of talented bands both past and present.
Which is why it bothers me when The Sex Pistols are lauded up there with such genuine punk rock greats as The Ramones and Bad Religion.
The simple fact is that timing was on the band's side with an entire generation feeling so downbeat that they lapped up having an outlet for all their angst and anger at the world. That, coupled with a very clever marketing campaign designed to put the frighteners well and truly up even the most stiff upper lipped Brit, is the only thing that made this band relevant in any way.
It annoys me even more when you get the 21st century John Lydon, who these days still seems to think people actually care what he thinks, mouthing off about and slating various modern-day bands, especially those he believes owe his own rubbish band some sort of debt of gratitude.
At the end of the day, The Sex Pistols former 'singer' ended up a glorified estate agent selling houses in Spain and appeared on a reality television show in an attempt to convince himself and the rest of the world he was still relevant in some way. Only, as it turned out, nobody really cared!
More punk in your little finger than Green Day, eh Mr Lydon? Well, considering that 'insignificant' California band is now on its eighth studio album and continues to sell hundreds of thousands of records and hold sell-out arena tours more than 20 years after forming, I am sure none of them are having sleepless nights about the opinion of one washed up has-been!
In the meantime, I might sit back and enjoy some decent punk music by whacking on a little Today Your Love, Tomorrow The World or Stranger Than Fiction.
Never Mind The Bollocks indeed!
While watching a couple of videos on YouTube today, I happened to glance through some of the comments put on there by supposed fans of the band or show and/or its stars.
And, if I'm completely honest, a lot of what I was reading really quite worried me.
There seems to be an acceptance among teenage girls these days that it is perfectly normal behaviour to completely tear apart anyone that their celebrity crush is dating, living with, engaged or married to. The internet and social networking has made spreading these vile comments as easy as breathing.
The way they talk in these comment boxes and on their Twitters etc. is quite frightening, in my opinion. They talk as if they know the poor woman who is the target of their vitriol, calling her everything from a bitch who is so wrong for their beloved suchandsuch to much, much worse.
Now, when I was a teenager, I had my fair share of celebrity crushes. I would even go so far as to say I was obsessed with a few of them. (Some of my friends and His Nibs might argue I have, in fact, not changed much to this day!)
But even then, at age 13 when I would lie in bed at night dreaming about kissing Marky Morris from The Bluetones with tongues and everything and holding hands with Tim Burgess from The Charlatans, I always knew it was just that - a dream about a teenage crush!
The way some of these kids talk (or write), it is as though they genuinely believe that the object of their desires would be genuinely better off with them and would leave the love of their life the moment they met whichever 14-year-old schoolgirl is so 'in love' with them.
It is as though these girls are unable to distinguish between love and lust, between fantasy and reality. Some of them even seem to pretend to BE the girlfriend of the famous person!
I wouldn't have considered myself particularly advanced for my age when I was a teenager which, in reality, wasn't all THAT long ago (she says, trying to convince herself!). I was heading towards the end of my teenage years a decade ago.
I mean, I was no dummy, I believe I was pretty intelligent and my parents had raised me to know what was right and wrong.
They had also raised me to have common sense and, even more importantly, I put that into practice even in situations I didn't have any previous experience of. I mean, I have always adored my parents and my mum is one of my best friends these days who I can and do tell everything to.
But as a 13-year-old? No way! I figured out things about boys myself!
It is almost as though somewhere during the past ten years, society has decided it is okay for these children to openly slag off and verbally abuse, borderline libel someone they have never even met and never will, because they have 'stolen' the person that child dreams of marrying one day, somehow tricking them into falling for their siren ways.
Does that not strike anybody else as wrong?
It never once, ever, entered my head to have any ill-feeling towards anybody who was in a relationship with my many celebrity crushes and it still doesn't now. Yes, of course you have that surface jealousy and wish you could be in their shoes but common sense and something called a reality check comes into play. I knew I was never going to meet any of these men, who were in many cases a decade or more older than me, and even if I did, there wasn't a chance in Hell of us living happily ever after.
But I was okay with that because I had and still don't have any problems drawing the line between fantasy and reality.
One of the examples I saw today was someone slagging off an actress called Genevieve Cortese.
Her crime? She married Jared Padalecki from Supernatural at the weekend.
I think they've been together for a couple of years now, he had a girlfriend just before her who he was engaged to but they broke up and he then got together with his now wife. She played an evil demon on Supernatural who had a relationship with Jared's character, Sam. (Yes, I am a Supernatural geek! I love that show and can't deny it!)
There were various pubescent teenie girls on YouTube basically posting various apparently 'informed' opinions about this woman and the fact she and Jared got married 'too soon'. They were saying things like they 'didn't like her', she was 'so wrong for him' and making comments about how he would have been much better matched to another actress who once appeared on the show!
One even said that their marriage was 'just wrong as they had only just got engaged' or something!
I mean, how can these kids honestly think that it is normal behaviour to talk about two actors they have never met and never will as though they were someone they had met down the pub?
The bottom line is that a man has married the woman he loves. They have a right to some privacy in their lives and I do not think anybody who doesn't know either of them has a right to air their silly little opinions which, if I were Genevieve or Jared, I would find really hurtful.
To think strangers have such a horrible opinion on you based only on what they have seen in the media or on a television show would devastate me and I'm not an easily upset sort of girl!
A lot of these children, because I truly believe how they behave is childish, will hopefully grow up one day. They simply do not seem to realise and accept that the only reason they have a problem with the woman who is with their 'love' is down to jealousy.
Genevieve played an evil character in Supernatural who had sex scenes with Jared. Therefore the minute she fell for him in real life and he for her, she was always going to be on a hiding to nothing with these so called 'fans' who believe they are Jared Padalecki's one true love.
Honestly, parents, please sit your silly little teenage daughters down and try and make them see sense? Maybe then your child still has a chance to grow up a normal, well-rounded individual with a healthy, loving and real relationship of their own with a non-famous guy!
Because if not, I'm starting to worry that the innocence of a teenage celebrity crush is doomed!
And my message to those silly little girls?
Go out and find yourself a real boyfriend that you can hold hands with and maybe even kiss with tongues. It is a lot more fun than fantasising about someone you will never even meet, trust me!
And get a sodding life!
I somehow ended up randomly thinking about just how many annoying so-called famous people are out there that I want to slap with a wet fish or, even better, wished would fall off the very ends of the earth and end up in Pointless Annoying Celebrity Hell.
So here we go, my top ten most disliked famous folk:
1) Katie Price - seriously woman, just f*** off!
2) Pete Doherty - the most overrated musical 'genius' since Bob Dylan. Can't sing, can't play the guitar and writes crap songs.
3) Shappi Khorsandi - you're not even half as funny as Omid Djalili and just spend your time whining about everything.
4) Gordon Brown - you are not a celebrity, you're supposed to be a country leader so start acting more like the latter and less like the former.
5) Anyone who has ever appeared on Big Brother6) Any winner/runner up from X Factor, Pop Idol, Popstars or whatever other crap show Simon Cowell comes up with next.
7) Russell Brand
8) Amy Winehouse
9) Mylene Class
10) Jo Whiley - possibly the most overrated DJ ever.
So there it is, another top ten. To be honest, I could have included so many more but I could very well have been writing all night.
Anyone else got some celebs they would just love to lock in a large crate and dump off the side of a ship into the Atlantic?
... I present to you...
THE list!
Yes, I know I've sort of done this before in a previous blog entry but a few of us are creating Top Tens on Twitter and it has been decided that this should be the first.
Although I am officially only allowed eight on my Allowed List, I don't think Da Boy will mind me bending the rules just this once in honour of entertainment.
So, here we go.
My Top Ten most desirable celebrity men of all time are:
Billie Joe Armstrong
Jensen Ackles
Jared Padalecki
Christian Kane
Ryan Adams
David Tennant
Synyster Gates
Orlando Bloom
Johnny Depp
Bradley Cooper
So there you have it! Feel free to discuss, argue, agree or tear apart as you wish!
